


Clean Sheets

by SpaceLion97



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: A Week of Kagehina, Accidental Cuddling, Angst, Awkward Boners, Awkward Kageyama Tobio, Cute Kageyama Tobio, Drinking, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, First Time, Fluff, Gay, Hinata Shouyou is Sunshine, Kageyama Tobio is Bad at Feelings, Kageyama Tobio-centric, M/M, Nerves, POV Kageyama Tobio, Present Tense, Protective Kageyama Tobio, Sharing a Bed, Tokyo (City), Underage Drinking, Volleyball, Volleyball Dorks in Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:20:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27736762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceLion97/pseuds/SpaceLion97
Summary: Despite spending nearly all their free time together, Kageyama and Hinata, Karasuno’s volleyball dream duo, find out that they still have much to learn about one another. Their relationship is spurred forward by the nerves and pressure of being far from home and vying with other stellar players for a prestigious scholarship to Waseda University. Is Hinata merely a comfort to Kageyama, or could these strange new feelings be something more?
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 4
Kudos: 73





	Clean Sheets

**Author's Note:**

> Songs:  
> True Colors by Ane Brun  
> Halo by Ane Brun  
> Sliding Down by Edgar Meyer  
> Straight into Your Arms by Vance Joy  
> Beneath Your Beautiful by Labrinth  
> Bette Davis Eyes by Kim Carnes  
> Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper  
> Can’t Help Falling in Love by Ingrid Michaelson  
> Breathe Me by Sia  
> The Archer by Taylor Swift  
> I’m Not in Love 10cc  
> The Promise by When in Rome

“Oi, guys. Circle up.”

It seems too early for us to be finishing up running drills, but I glance at Hinata and toss the ball into the metal bin with ease.

He rolls his eyes, and I hear him mutter. “Showoff.”

I smirk at him and jog over to where Coach Ukai gathers the team. He’s got some kind of flyer in his hand.

“Now I know a lot of you will have no trouble getting into University, but there are a * a-hem* handful of you—” He takes the time to glance at Hinata, Tanaka, Nishinoya, and finally, me. “For whom this task will be much more difficult, so I suggest you listen”

My ears feel hot. I edge a look at Hinata. He looks unbothered. No one expects him to be smart.

Ukai continues, “I’ve never been much for the books, so if I’d had an opportunity like this in high school, I’d have jumped on it in a heartbeat. Waseda University, multi-year champions of Japan’s national club volleyball tournament, are giving out five volleyball scholarships next year. In order to apply, you need to go to a training camp in Tokyo in two weeks, where they will scout who is most qualified. I know this is short notice, but for some of you, this could be your only shot at higher education. I suggest you seriously consider it.”

“Hell no, there’s no way I’m going to college. Scholarship or not. You couldn’t pay me to spend five years in a library,” I can tell Tanaka is trying to cover his pride at being called out in bravado.

“Your funeral.” Ukai looks at Nishinoya, who looks down at his shoes.

“I can’t,” Nishinoya mutters, his usual enthusiasm dissipated.

“Why not?” Ukai pushes.

“Because…” his voice gets hard to hear. “The vice-principal said I’m not supposed to take any more time off school.”

I have a feeling this is because he and Tanaka have “forgotten” to come back from lunch break one too many times, and he finally got called out.

“Hinata? Kageyama?”

Hinata beams. “Of course we’ll go! Right, Kageyama?” He looks at me expectantly, that stupid grin on his face. Ukai is right. We would be dumb to pass up this opportunity. Plus, there’s a tiny part of my brain that knows Hinata won’t stand out at the camp without me, and as much as he gets on my nerves, I at least owe him that. I nod.

~

I pull my towel over my neck as I walk into the locker room to hear Hinata humming. I fiddle with the lock on my locker, as he stops and grabs my shoulders, shaking me. “Kageyama!!!!! We are going to go to Tokyo!! They might let us into college!!” Then in a softer tone, “Thank you. I know I’ve grown a lot, but I’m still not much without our quick.”

“Don’t get your hopes up,” I say, swiping his hands off of me. Even so, as I change back into my street clothes, I can’t help but get a little bit excited about getting to show off in Tokyo.

************************************************************************************************************

The two weeks went by quickly. I’ve never had much free time. My life is sleep, eat, school, volleyball, pretend to study, and sleep again. Today that grind was going to be broken.

Of course, Hinata arrived to get me for the walk to the train stop 45 minutes early. Still in my sweatpants, hair unbrushed, I opened the door to Hinata, bag in one hand, volleyball in the other.

“Don’t you think they’ll have volleyballs there?” I say, blinking awake.

“What if we want to practice outside?”

“Where? In the middle of the street?”

“Whatever. You’re the one who is going to be sorry when I won’t practice with you.”

What a joke. Hinata is the one who has begged me to set to him nearly every day after practice. He doesn’t seem to care that he won’t get home until nearly 7:00 because of his long bike ride to his house which is who knows where.

My parents have already left for work. I gesture for him to come inside, though I don’t think even leaving him outside could have dampened his attitude today. As I pack, I realize I’ve never been to Tokyo, or anywhere for that matter, without some kind of adult keeping track of me. It really would just be me and Hinata. What if we got lost? What if one of us gets sick? I shove the nerves to the back of my mind as I pack my jersey and my toothbrush. I toss in some deodorant and my phone charger.

Trying not to think about Hinata sitting in my living room, thinking of five million questions to ask me about my house, I step into the shower, letting it run cold, waking me up as goosebumps run over my skin. I look myself in the eyes and promise that I won’t let any stupid nerves get in the way of my chance to prove myself. I pull on a graphic tee and my school pants and head out to the living room. Sure enough:

“Whoa, Kageyama, what kind of plant is that?”

“I don’t know.”

“Cool picture! Is that you as a baby? You have a really nice house.”

“Thanks, I guess.”  
  


“Can I see your room?”

“No.”

“Okay!” He gets up and motions for me to head out the door with him.

Over time I’ve gotten used to half-listening to Hinata. Whenever he pauses his chatter to glance at me, I furrow my brow and say “Hm.” Sometimes to spice it up, I look back and say, “Yeah?” He doesn’t seem to notice or mind that I don’t add much to the conversation, and to tell the truth, I don’t really mind pretending to listen.

~

The train ride to Tokyo is always longer than I expect it to be. Five hours. Hinata wanted the window seat, and he’s got his nose practically shoved up on the glass. Every ten minutes or so he elbows me to point out some mountain or landmark. Thankfully, I brought my phone and my earbuds, so I listen and start to daydream to my instrumental piano music.

“Hey, Kageyama?” I’m pulled out of my reverie. “What are you listening to?” I quickly scramble to click on some American rap. Kanye West. Or something. Anything cooler than some playlist called “Piano Music to Relax To”. I don’t have it in me to tell him that’s what I listen to every day on the way to school.

“Uh... just a… workout playlist. Nothing special.”

“What’s your favorite song on it?” I freeze. He’s going to figure it out.

“I knew it! Ha, I knew it! You don’t actually listen to rap! You can’t name a single song.”

I shush him. My cheeks turning red. He grabs my phone from me and pulls up Spotify. Rather than mocking me, he just clicks through and smiles. I fume.

“You know, there’s nothing wrong with a little classical music. Or “32 Most Beautiful Emotional Anime Soundtracks for Studying”. He doubles over, wheezing with laughter. I grab his neck and squeeze. He just winks at me and tosses my phone back. “I won’t tell anyone.”

~

We arrive at the dorm, and it’s slightly… underwhelming. I’m not sure if I was expecting some kind of hotel, but it just looks like a cheap apartment, the usual laundry hanging out to dry. I double-check the address. This is definitely it. Half-empty sodas sitting on balconies. We go to check-in at the front desk and a stubbly college student looks up from his computer.

“We’re here for the volleyball camp.”

“Uh... gimme a sec.” He mumbles, taking more than a sec to flip through a bunch of papers on his desk. “Names?”

This time, Hinata speaks up: “Kageyama Tobio and Hinata Shoyou!” He says cheerfully.

“Right.”

I’m starting to wonder if maybe he’s hungover.

“You’re on the sixth floor, room 605. Don’t fuck up the room okay?” He looks from Hinata to me and gives me the key.

“Yes sir!” Hinata exclaims, marching toward the elevator. I let out an inaudible sigh and follow him. No use pretending we don’t know each other.

He presses the elevator button once, twice, and a couple more times for good measure.

“Broken! Stairs are that way!” hollers the check-in guy. We climb five flights of stairs finally to reach a stuffy hallway. 605 is at the very end. I jiggle the key in the lock and open the room. It’s cramped but clean and white. The blinds are pulled, and I realize the window has a sprawling view of Tokyo, the lights of dusk beginning to blink on.

Then we see it. The bed. It’s tiny. You could fit maybe one and a half pillows on its side to side. At first, Hinata doesn’t even notice, he’s too busy prying the window and trying to name buildings in the distance.

“They must’ve made a mistake.” I mumble vaguely.

“What? Isn’t this AWESOME?”

“Hinata, do you remember them saying something about a bunk bed?”

“Nope!” I could have sworn they said something about a bunkbed.

“Where are we supposed to sleep, dumbass?”

Seeing my annoyance, concern washes over Hinata’s face. Then, finally, he notices the bed. “Wait… you’re right. That’s not a bunk bed.” He scratches his head.

“Should we talk to the check-in guy and see if they made a mistake?”

“The check-in guy was a little…scary. Plus, I don’t want it to seem like we’re being spoiled. Guess I’ll just sleep on the floor!”

Not wanting to be outmanned by Hinata, I raise my voice a little bit. “No. I can sleep on the floor.” Hinata isn’t backing down.

“How ‘bout we let the cards decide?” Hinata whips out a card deck, shuffles, and begins dealing. Somehow, I feel I don’t have a choice in the matter.

We run down to the Family Mart and grab a bunch of snacks and drinks and sit down on the floor to play cards. I quickly realize that Hinata is just as competitive at cards as he is in volleyball. We play six rounds. I win three and Hinata wins three.

“Kageyama! I have the best idea. Let’s play truth or dare. They do it at American sleepovers. We are basically having a sleepover. So, we have to play.”

“What the hell is that?”

“You pick truth or dare. Truth and you have to answer any question I say. Dare and you have to do whatever I tell you.” Hinata has a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Fine. But if I play you have to give me the bed.”

I can see Hinata weighing his options. “Okay. You got it. For tonight at least. Now hit me. Truth or dare.”

“Dare.”

“Okay. You take that milk. Pick it up and drink it. Using only your FEET.”

It goes on like this for a while. I spill milk all over myself. I make Hinata yell at people on the street below. He makes me impersonate every person on the team. "Okay, last one, idiot, truth.” It’s the first time I’ve said truth, feeling too tired to pull some kind of stunt. Suddenly, Hinata looks a little distant. He pulls his knees in and looks away from me.

“Which girl at our school do you like the most?”

I pause. I can’t think of a single one.

“Uh… I don’t really like any of them.”

“Okay, which one is the prettiest then?”

Another long pause. I waver. Do I risk sounding like an asshole and tell the truth? Or do I go with the obvious choice and lie? Fuck it. I’m too tired to get into some long discussion.

“They all look the same to me.”

“You’re telling me you don’t think ANY of the girls are pretty?”

“Do you?”

“Yachi is adorable. But Yamaguchi told me he’s got his eye on her, and I’m not sure if I even have time for a girlfriend. The tiny giant definitely didn’t have a girlfriend. So neither should I!” He sounds determined.

“Okay, whatever. I’m going to bed. Night.” With a twinge of guilt, I put a couple of the blankets on the floor for Hinata and lay down on the little cot, setting my alarm for 6:00 am. With the blinds open, I can see all the city lights stretching out before me.

************************************************************************************************************

I wake up with the light. Hinata is on the ground shivering. Guilt washes over me again. I need to let him have the bed tonight. He’s in a weird position on his stomach. I shake his shoulder, waking him up, and within seconds he’s smiling, though his eyes look red from lack of sleep. “We’re going to college today, Kageyama!”

“Right.” I roll my eyes and head over to the shower. Thankfully, there’s one in our room, though the water takes about ten minutes to warm up.

~

As we walk up to the Waseda gym, I can hear the familiar clunking of volleyballs against the shiny wooden floor. When we walk inside, there are way more people than I expected, their shouts echoing across the enormous high ceilinged gym. With a quick scan of the room, I realize Hinata is easily one of the shortest people here. I wonder if he noticed. We are still ten minutes early, and Hinata and I move to a corner of the gym and begin practicing our attacks.

A whistle blows and a man with a loudspeaker orders all of us to the stands. He tells us that today we are going to be separated by position to practice our techniques. I’m used to this. As a middle schooler, I went to a bunch of camps like this, in Miyagi and in neighboring prefectures. Hinata is bouncing his knee and sweating a little. He sometimes does this before big games.

“Hey, Kageyama?” He whispers, “Are we going to be separated for the whole camp?”

“No. They said starting in a couple of days we are doing practice games with any teammates we have.”

“Thank god. Okay.” Hinata breathes out and the knee jiggling subsides.

We run straight drills from 7:00 – 12:00 am with barely any breaks in between. For me, it’s mostly serving over and over and then practicing setting for different players with various coaches and college players shouting endless feedback. The comments I get from them are mostly brief, which I take as a good sign. While I wait my turn to serve again, I glance at the other side of the gym at Hinata. His blazing hair is easy to spot. I see a youngish looking coach having a long discussion with him. Hinata looks stressed, but he nods emphatically and runs back to his line. I had considered that it might be harder for Hinata to make a good first impression without me there to set for him, but seeing him over there and not being able to help makes me feel a little restless inside.

At lunch, Hinata mostly stares at his sandwich, doing arm stretches.

“Ay, Kageyama? Can you step on my back? I hear that helps straighten things out.”

I look around. There are loads of people.

“No. Plus what if I snap your spine?”

“The floor in the dorm sucks. Your turn tonight. It’s throwing off my game.” Hinata is unusually quiet. He only eats a couple of bites.

When we return to drills, I keep an eye on him again. The same coach has pulled Hinata to a corner of the gym and is running a drill with him over and over. That can’t be good. Hinata looks red and out of breath. He keeps tugging at his elbow. He must be sore. I think I see him glance at me, but I can’t be sure. I return my focus to my jump serves, focusing on the satisfying smack of the ball against my hand, and try not to think about Hinata.

~

The walk home from the gym is abnormally quiet. Hinata won’t make eye contact with me. We walk into the convenience store. He insists he doesn’t want anything, but I grab him an instant ramen anyway when he’s not looking.

When we get up to 605, I throw the ramen at him and begin to heat up my own with the shitty microwave in the room. “You get the bed tonight.” He lays face down on it without a word.

I grab my foam ramen cup by its sides and blow the steam away, setting it on the desk facing the window. Hinata still has his face down in his pillow. I have no idea what to do. So, I do nothing.

“Kageyama?” His voice shakes, just a little. “I think this was a mistake. I suck. One of the Waseda players had to spend almost a whole hour just coaching me. ME. There were like 20 other people in my group. That’s how much I suck.”

A long pause. “They wouldn’t have spent that much time on you if they didn’t think you were worth it.”

At that, he looks up at me. His cheeks and ears are red. Hinata has no poker face.

“You think so?”

“Yeah. If I thought you sucked, I wouldn’t spend so much time on you either.”

At this his chuckles just a little bit and turns over, wiping his nose on his sleeve. He chucks the ramen back at me. “If you really think I’m good, then you’ll make this ramen for me. I’m starving.”

“Thank god. The hunger strike ends.” I make a big show of how much work it is to peel off the top of the ramen cup and put the water in. I put it in the microwave.

Now he’s laughing. Like side-splitting laughing. “You’re ridiculous Kageyama. I can’t believe I was so terrified of you.”

“You should be,” I say and chuck the volleyball on the desk at his face.

The night on the floor is rough. As soon as the warmth from the ramen wears off, the cold from the floor seeps into my back. Under the carpet, there seems to be solid metal. I fall asleep in hour-long bouts.

~

When I check my phone it reads 5:00 am. My shoulder feels all out of whack and I have a headache. I wake up and head to the shower. At least then I’ll be warm. I brush my teeth as the water heats up. I have dark circles under my eyes, and I glare at myself while I brush my teeth. Whatever game we play for the bed tonight, I need to win. I stick my hand under the water and then pull it out again. Freezing cold. I leave it to run for what feels like an hour before giving up on the hot water ever coming. I pull my hood over my hair to hide my bedhead and shout at Hinata.

“Oi scrub. Time to go.” I shake him twice and he starts to stir. I can already tell my back is going to hurt at practice today. I let my irritation get the better of me and I start the walk to the gym without him.

The day starts much the same. Hinata rushes in right as the head coach starts barking out groups, once again by position. He stares at me, resentment in his eyes. Maybe I should’ve waited for him.

~

“Ey grouchy face!” One of the Waseda setters in charge of my group yells at me. I stifle a snide comment and glance back at him.

“What’s up with your form today? Your sets are just a hair off.”

“I… uhh… my arm is kind of sore.” I leave out the part about sleeping on the floor.

“Well get it together! I know you can do better than that! It’s only day two, you can’t be that sore yet.”

I grunt and focus on the next toss, silently cursing the tiny bed and the cold-as-shit floor. I don’t bother looking for Hinata, and during break, he’s nowhere to be found in the cafeteria. It’s only when I go to the locker room to pee that I finally see him. He doesn’t say anything to me and keeps on walking toward the gym even though we still have 15 minutes left of break.

That evening, we don’t even walk home together, and I don’t see him until almost 9:30. He must have stayed longer to practice. When he finally comes in, he opens the door and huffs past me. He stares at the bed, then flops down on the floor.

“You gonna eat?” He looks away from me and toward the window. I take a different angle: “Hey listen. I’m sorry I left without you today. I was all bent out of shape from being cold and tired. I should have waited. Okay?” No response. "Okay?" 

“It’s not about that.” I’m stumped. I have no idea what else I could have done.

“Kageyama. I’m just…scared, okay?” He chokes out his words through tears. "You leaving early today, and us not playing together, all that did was make me realize what I was scared of. Damn it! This is why I couldn’t talk to you today. I knew I’d start crying.” He lets out a grunt and slams his fist into the floor.

“What are you talking about?”

“One day all of this,” He points and himself, and at me, “Is going to go away. And that scares me okay? I’ve never been great at anything. Playing with all the other guys at school, and with you… that’s the best I’ve ever felt, about anything. I know that sounds stupid, but it’s true. In a couple of years, that’s all going to go away.” He looks down, trying and failing to muffle his crying.

That hit me like a punch in the gut. Seeing Hinata crying like that took the air out of me. I can’t think of a way to respond because I know he’s right. It is going to go away. Hinata is going to go away. That wasn’t something I’d thought of before. Ever since he showed up, he had always just… been there. That was all there was to it. For several seconds we just stare at each other, taking in the weight of that statement.

Finally, Hinata breaks the silence. “Kageyama, do you think for tonight we could maybe…share the bed? The floor sucks.” I nod, already feeling like an asshole and too stunned to think of a better solution.

We get ready for bed without any more words. Anything else I could say would sound forced or meaningless. I leave my shirt and undershorts on and get under the covers. I press myself as close up against the wall as I can. When Hinata gets in he’s basically half off the bed, but we manage not to touch. Quicker than I could have hoped, I drift off to sleep.

************************************************************************************************************

When I wake up the first time, it’s still dark. I feel… warm. In my sleepy stupor, I realize it’s because Hinata’s arm is draped across me, his face shoved into my armpit, fast asleep. I can’t decide what’s worse, shoving him off me and having to face him waking up or staying like this for another couple of hours.

He makes a little noise and readjusts moving his arm onto my shoulder and his face closer to mine. His hair sticks out every which way, some of it brushing against my cheek. I fight the urge to sneeze. I decide it’s better to stay still. Maybe he’ll move on his own and I can forget this even happened. If I wake him up now, he’ll definitely say something stupid.

At least I’m warm, and my back feels a thousand times better. And something smells like…cinnamon or maybe caramel? God, is that Hinata’s hair? What kind of girly shampoo is that? He must have borrowed some of Natsu’s. I fight the urge to smile. At least he’s not crying anymore. Something in me just doesn’t feel right when he’s that upset. He’s not supposed to ever be upset. He’s like some kind of ray-of-sunshine robot. He’s not supposed to cry. With my free arm, I manage to set my alarm (I must have forgotten last night) and drift off in the warmth and smell of spices.

Fuck. That’s the only thought in my head when my alarm does go off. Somehow Hinata still has his arm on my stomach, but that’s not the only problem. I’m hard. Like really hard. All I went to bed in were my undershorts. Great. This isn’t that unusual for me, and from my understanding, it’s fairly normal, but now I have to find a way to get out of bed without Hinata waking up. Damn it.

Finally, I panic and just tuck and roll out of bed, praying that Hinata doesn’t wake up. He makes some kind of noise that sounds like it could have been my name, but I don’t wait around to find out. I run to the shower and hop in, praying that the ice-cold water will make the horror go away.

When Hinata does wake up, he’s in a surprisingly good mood, humming to himself and tossing the ball up the air in bed.

“Head Coach said today we get to play practice games finally! It’s definitely going to be better today. They haven’t seen our quick attack yet. It’s going to be ALL WHOOSH and then BAM!” I can’t help but laugh a little at that.

~

Hinata was right. It is so much better. It’s like changing into perfectly worn-in shoes, playing with Hinata again. We get into a rhythm. I secretly love seeing the looks on all the college coaches' faces when they finally see our quick attack. We actually learn the name of the guy who was practicing with Hinata for so long the other day. It’s Jeremy. He’s an exchange student from the U.S. He’s our team’s stand-in coach for the practice matches. He’s way less uptight than I was expecting, cracking jokes the entire time, and giving useful, but not overly critical tips to all of us.

After practice, since we have the next day off to rest, he and his buddy invite us and a couple of other players out to dinner, saying something about us “being way too hard on ourselves” and “needing to chill”. Maybe he noticed how stressed Hinata was the other day. We stuff ourselves with as much meat as we possibly can, and Hinata thanks them until he basically can’t even breathe. I nod alongside him. On our way home we stop at the convenience store and Jeremy buys two small bottles of whiskey. Right before he sees us off to the dorm, he grabs Hinata’s messenger bag and shoves one of the bottles in it.

“Have fun, but not too much fun. Okay?” He winks at us and then goes on his way. Hinata turns red and raises his hand in a wave. “Uh… thank you very much!!”, I nod. Hinata gives me a panicked look and then rushes inside past the same check-in guy without a word, as if he’s got some kind of awful weapon in his bag.

~

When we reach 605, Hinata sounds out of breath. He plops onto the bunk and stares at the bottle of whiskey as if it’s some kind of time bomb. “Kageyama. What are we supposed to do with this??? We can’t just not drink it? That would be rude!! But what if the scary check-in guy somehow finds out and comes into our room and then we GO TO JAIL???”

“Don’t be a dumbass. We aren’t going to jail. That check-in guy doesn’t give two shits about us. Did you see him? I’m not even sure if he’s awake.”

“Okay. If you’re positive. Uh…have you ever drank before Kageyama?”

“Well…no.” I don’t think the two sips of Sake at my Aunt’s wedding count.

“Me neither. I know that people usually measure in some kind of shots though. I’ll go grab the cap of my mouthwash bottle!”

“You want to start drinking now?!” I don’t want to admit it, but I’m a little apprehensive. Plus, the cap Hinata brings out looks a little larger than the shot glasses I’ve seen before.

“Why not? Jeremy did say we were being way too hard on ourselves. Plus, we are all alone in Tokyo and have the day off tomorrow. Who would even have to know?” He elbows me and passes a capful of the brown liquid over to me. I stare at it. It smells like cleaning fluid. I feel my stomach churn. Not wanting to be outmanned by Hinata, I down it. It burns my throat, and I try to stifle a gag. Hinata laughs at me. I grab the bottle and pour him a capful that nearly spills over.

“Dumbass. Before you laugh, drink this. Tell me it doesn’t taste awful.” As I shove the cap toward Hinata a little bit spills on his shorts. He just giggles, grabs it, and drinks.

“Blegh!!! I mean, you’re right. It feels…warm though.”

In my rage, I hadn’t paused to think about the way I felt now. Hinata was right. The pit of my stomach feels warm, but my head doesn’t feel any different yet.

“Okay, Kageyama. If we are going to drink this bottle--

“The whole bottle?”

“WE CAN’T EXACTLY BRING IT BACK!”

“We could throw it away, idiot.”

“And waste Jeremy’s precious money? I don’t think so! He said we needed to loosen up, so we are doing to DO THAT.”

“You need to quit yelling or that check-in guy really is going to come up here and send us to jail.”

Hinata turns as red as his hair and immediately starts talking in this ridiculous whisper.

“Truth or dare. Go!” I roll my eyes and sigh.

“Dare.”

“Drink two more of these. Right now.”

“Fuck that. No.”

“I bet Jeremy could drink the whole bottle without even blinking!”

“I’ll take one more. And only if you do too.”

“Fine.”

Hinata fills up our makeshift shot glass and I shove it toward my mouth. It stings. This time I swear I feel a buzzing in my head. I fill his up even more than mine and pass it to him more carefully this time. He takes two or three sips before finishing. I can’t understand why he would prolong the pain.

“Truth or dare.”

“Dare.”

After having this awful drink forced on me, I’m not feeling terribly generous. “I dare you to go stand in the shower for two minutes. Go.”

“But Kageeeeyamaaa! It’s freezing.”

“Don’t care.”

“Fineee.” He runs to the shower and shuts the door. I hear some poorly muffled high-pitched squealing. I look and my phone and make sure it runs for two minutes. I go to knock to tell him times up. When I stand up, I waver a little bit, wondering if I’m starting to feel the whiskey.

He comes out in just a towel, shivering his ass off. I can’t help but let my eyes linger on his biceps. He’s not as tiny as he looks. I realize I must be staring, and avert my eyes. He glares daggers at me. “T-truth or D-dare?” he says, his teeth chattering. He draws the towel around him and huddles up in the corner of the cot against the wall.

Suddenly feeling a little nervous about what Hinata might choose as a revenge dare, I take a chance “Truth.”

Without any prompting from me, Hinata pours himself another shot and then drinks it before talking. We are about a quarter of the way through the bottle. I tried to hide my slightly impressed shock. He scoots a little closer to me on the bed. I scoot away just a little.

“Kageyama. You told me you didn’t like any of the…. girls… at school. Who do you like then?” Under the glow of the lamp, his wet skin looks the exact same color as his hair. He won’t make eye contact with me. My heart starts to pound a little.

“What do you mean?”

Before answering, he hands me another capful of whiskey, then pours one for himself. I drink it without question, needing more alcohol to handle whatever is going on here.

“You said you didn’t like any of the girls at our school. Is there maybe… someone else you like?”

The room feels like it's spinning. I grip the edge of the bunk to steady myself. I’m definitely feeling it now. I can’t stand the horribly helpless look on Hinata’s shining face. Now he's looking at me, and I feel like I’m losing some kind of awful staring contest. I look away.

“I don’t know what you mean.” I mutter, trying to force down the pleasant memory of the morning scent of cinnamon, of the constant glances at Hinata across the gym, the pit I felt when I saw him crying, of my inability to look away when Hinata left the shower. Who is he to stare at me like that? I ball my hands into fists.

Then I feel it. Hinata grabs my collar like I’ve done to him so many times before when he’s being an idiot. Except instead of yelling at me, he pulls me down on top of him. His breathing is heavy, and I’m more than aware of the goosebumps running over his warm skin as I topple on top of him. Part of me tells me to yell, to scream at him, but there’s another part, even deeper down telling me to stay there. To just keep him pinned down, like he deserves. Why shouldn’t I show him that I’m in charge? He can't just pull me down like that. 

“Kageyama. I want….” I don’t let him finish the sentence. I straddle him, pinning both of his wrists down with my hands, my legs straddling him on either side.

“What was that? What do you want?” I say, goading him. He looks a little bit afraid. I can’t explain why, but this makes me excited.

I move from straddling him to sitting on him. I feel so much larger than him. Knowing he can’t move underneath me gives me a sense of pleasure. To my annoyance, I see him crack a grin.

All of the shock melts from his face. “So, you knew what I wanted…” At this, I’m suddenly aware of Hinata’s erection, pressed right up against my crotch. My gym shorts feel incredibly thin. My own increasing hardness indicated to me that we aren’t just wrestling anymore. I try to move away from him, backing away slightly, but he bends his knees, forcing me into place.

“Hah! I knew it!” Hinata laughs maniacally. I shush him urgently. “I knew it…” he trails off, shaking his head, laughing. How can his face be so annoying and so attractive at the same time?

I can’t turn back now. Suddenly all the feelings make sense. Why no girls ever came to mind when someone asked me about romance. Shoyou Hinata. There is not a single person in the world that I think of more than him. Every day I spend hours staring at him, jumping to reach my sets, trusting me completely. So much of everything that matters in my life is him. This realization is mostly horrifying, but at this point, I’m too drunk to care. I collapse on top of him, laying my head on his heaving chest. He’s still laughing, and his heart is beating fast. I’ve spent so much time next to him, but I’ve never been this close to him before.

“Kageyama. There’s something I need to tell you.”

“Hmm?”

“Last night.”

“Yeah?”

“I might not have been asleep the whole time.”

I sit up and look him in the face, knowing any sense of dignity I have is now totally destroyed. “So your hand…”

“That was on purpose…”

“Hinata!!!”

“I mean needing us to share the bed was purely for practical reasons but being so close to you. It was just too hard not to.”

“That’s not the only thing that’s hard.”

I sit back up on top of him, trying my best to glare and failing. Now it’s my turn to start laughing. Two years of pent up feelings all coming out at once. I peel myself off of Hinata to catch my breath, pulling my knees in close to me, hiding the obvious.

“You’re just… Kageyama you’re beautiful. Everything you do is just… beautiful. And your eyes…” As he says this, he grabs my cheek and turns my head.

“You’re uh… not half bad.” It’s all I can manage through gasps of laughter. I’m not quite ready to tell him that his eyes look like amber when they shine in the sunlight, or that his hair smells like caramel, or that his arms look chiseled. That can wait. For now, I just grab both sides of his face in my hands and kiss him as hard as I can. I feel my teeth clack against his. Embarrassed, I pull away and nuzzle my head into the side of his neck.

Without warning, Hinata springs up out of the cot and dashes to the bathroom. I hear gagging sounds. I try to stand up, but suddenly the head rush hits me and I sit back down. After a few minutes, Hinata comes back out of the bathroom looking pale. I stand up, slower this time, and get him a drink of water. He gratefully sips it and then he lays his head in my lap.

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe we should just throw out the rest.” There’s something about the way he looks up at me, even when he’s pale and sweaty, that stirs something inside me.

“It’ll be okay. Let’s go to bed.”

I run my fingers through my hair and watch him as his breathing evens out. When I’m sure he’s asleep I whisper, “Dumbass?”

No response.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Shoyou.” With that, I pull the covers over both of us, holding him close as the lights of Tokyo fade into my dreams.

************************************************************************************************************

Every night, for the rest of the trip, I held him like that, feeling him, small, leaning against my chest. I whisper all the things I’ve wanted to say to him when I'm sure he's asleep. During practice, of course, nothing changes. If anything, our quick sets got more in sync. Before long, Jeremy brings the head coach to watch our practice matches, and I see him taking notes, which I hope is a good sign.

When it got to be the final day of camp, something switched inside me. I realized Hinata and I were both going back to our houses. None of what happened was something we could talk to the team about. At least not yet. Maybe after we graduated.

All I could do now was hope that Hinata and I would both get that letter from Waseda University. One of the nights we stayed up too late talking and we figured it all out. We would request to be roommates. We would win all the tournaments. We would get contracts with an international team and travel the world together.

As we rode the train home, I held on to the one thing I knew I could look forward to. Hinata would always ask me to set for him. Every day. We would stay outside by the streetlight until it got dark, playing without a word.

And for now, that would be enough. It would have to be.


End file.
